I just had a baby a few months back and amidst all the craziness that was going on around me, there were a couple of things I definitely knew:
- I would keep on working in some way.
- I would be very much there for my baby.
So, how does one keep working from home while managing a baby and not lose it completely? While it can be overwhelming at the best of times, there are ways to achieve this balance by planning well, delegating, sharing work, flexibility in the workplace and looking after oneself. When you have the will, you can always work a way around this.
I dug deep into my resources and at times clutched at straws but I did come up with coping mechanisms. That is not to say I did not have my bad days and an occasional meltdown. But one has to allow oneself that ‘luxury’ too occasionally.
Valuing Yourself As You Work From Home with a Baby to Care For
Accept that it will not be easy
This is the first step to coping. It is a fact that the baby will NOT settle into a nice little routine to suit you. Rather it is you who will have to work your way around the little bundle of chaos (not to mention joy).
- There will be days when nothing, yes nothing, will go per plan. These are the impossible days, so to say. Accept that there are bound to be such days, not one-off but might happen more often than you would like. Prioritizing and compartmentalizing helps in a big way to get through such days.
- You might or might not have child care. Often you might not be in a position to have or afford child care. Even if you do, the nanny might not turn up some day. Or the baby sitter might call up to say he/she is not able to make it. On such days, eliciting help from co-workers in order to get through work would be a good idea.
- Then there will be days when the babywill be unwell. This is an essential part of bringing up a child. Hopefully things will not turn serious but one never can tell. On such days, working might not be an option. Even after the child gets over the initial difficult time, it might need more attention than normal, making it tough on you.
Accepting that it is a demanding job does not solve anything but certainly makes coping a bit easier.
Spare a thought for yourself
You are not an automaton and you are definitely not a supermom, so do not kill yourself trying to be one. Give yourself some love; it is essential for you, your baby and your spouse.
6 Ways to Look After You when Working from Home with a baby:
- Take a break from work
- Be kind to yourself
- Dress up for work
- Give the guilt trip a miss
- Get some time for yourself
- Get physically and mentally fit
- Take breaks from work.It is good to deliberately ‘walk away’ from work at times and go out for a stroll with the baby. If nothing else, lie around with it, cuddle it and indulge in baby talk, listening to the meaningless gu-gu’s and ga-ga’s. You will be rejuvenated when you walk back to your work station.
- Be kind to yourself. Do not punish yourself for your decision to work from home and never, EVER regret having the baby. Take off from everything once in a while and just zone out for some time.
- Dress up for ‘work’. Although it might sound very tough for a struggling mom to hear this, you must dress yourself up often. The very act of winging your eyes or applying a touch of flattering lipstick does wonders. Believe me, you will feel good about yourself even if the baby begins wailing for its feed right then.
- Give the guilt trip a miss. It is very natural to feel guilty about leaving the baby bawling while banging away at your keyboard or ignoring the baby for some time when you are pressed for a deadline. Well, sometimes it is not bad for the baby to be on its own for short periods of time, given that it is safe where it has been put and cannot come to any conceivable harm. You can finish your job and get back to pampering it.
- Get some time for yourself. I can see hackles raised already as the new mom reads this. “Really, now, with all the chores to complete and all the care to give the child?”, “Are you serious?”, and so on. I know how impossible this sounds when you begin to work from home with a baby. Try and squeeze in a little time, maybe all of 10 minutes at times, for some me-time. Your spouse is missing you too through all of this. Maybe a cuddle and a few moments together is all you can manage, but it will be good for both of you.
- Get physically and mentally fit.Delivering a baby is no child’s play, literally. It does have a grave impact on the body and mind. Your hormones run amok causing problems. Regular exercise will help you get physically stronger and to get ready to face the ups and downs of handling work-from-home challenges with a new baby.
Let Others Pitch in to Help You Work from Home
Delegate responsibility
You cannot possibly manage everything on your own. However much of an expert you might be, it is just not possible. It is wiser to delegate responsibility to people around you. This way the job gets done and the child gets enough attention as well.
You will do well to involve the spouse into as many aspects of childcare as you can. Parents and siblings as well as well-meaning friends can chip in on tough days. Right from changing nappies to patting a child to sleep to lending a hand in taking it for a follow-up visit, these things can be achieved better by having others help out.
In case you have an elder child at home, this can be a huge plus for you. Request the elder one to help with small things in order to make life easier for you while you quickly finish up some of your work. Of course there is a chance the elder child could feel jealous of all the attention the little fellow is getting. Make the elder baby feel secure and in control by telling him/her how much you look forward to support in helping you out.
If it is a job that you have had previously as well and there are co-workers who are empathetic, your job becomes easier. You can request them to possibly share some of the load during those times of the day when the baby is awake, making up for it during the times it sleeps.
Get peer group support
Again a vital cog in the wheel when it comes to work from home moms coping with infants is the support and understanding from peer groups. Be it other new moms in the neighbourhood or people at work who have been in this situation earlier, or are facing something similar now, it will do you a world of good to know you are NOT the first one. The very thought that people you know have been in a mess managing work and baby, is highly comforting.
You might never have imagined that the super sorted; seemingly incredibly efficient woman at work or in the neighbourhood has been through the same. Knowing that they have had bad days, have passed on their inability to cope onto their spouses, have cried and almost given up, have been unkind to themselves, is an amazing fillip. You will thank yourself for having signed up for the peer group. You will end up being empathetic towards the next woman you come across who is going through all that you have endured.
Managing Your Work Place for the Best Work from Home Experience
Flexibility is the key
When you decide that you will be continuing to work post baby, the first thing you need to be sure of is that your job offers you flexibility. It is important to realize that not all kinds of jobs can be done online. Even if they can be, not all work places might be open to the kind of flexibility that working from home with a baby demands.
Flexibility is essential to the concept of working from home with a toddler. This is because no baby functions to a set pattern or schedule. All of this takes time. As soon as you decide that you will soldier on with baby and work, you must inform your office of your decision. Remember that they too need to plan work in order to arrive at a solution where you get the flexibility you are looking for. This might mean reassigning roles for the people on-site as well as you. All of this takes time and you must provide that window to your employers.
You need to understand that work that offers you this flexibility is the only kind of work you can sign up for with a baby to care for. There is no use stressing yourself thinking that your role has been made insignificant or something similarly dramatic. Tell yourself this is all temporary and you will soon work out something akin to your role pre-baby.
Meetings and frequent calls might not work out
The fact that you are now working from home with a baby and possibly without much support in the way of childcare or family, means that attending meetings outside can be easily ruled out. You possibly cannot leave the baby and attend these meetings; nor is it an option to tow the baby along and not being alert on the meeting, turning to pat it every time it stirs.
Also jobs that require frequent calls might not be possible since they might disturb the baby. You might have just got the baby to sleep with great difficulty when your phone goes off. Even a ‘vibrate’ mode can shake the baby out of its slumber and back to being cranky; and then both of you are off on a trip again where you are trying to pacify the baby enough to be able to get back to work.
Try and persuade your workplace to go online on meetings and communication in order to save you these hassles and help to continue working and be productive.
Focus on getting the work done
You must remember that there are some compromises to be made when working at home with a toddler. Talk to your office and your bosses to gain a degree of flexibility with timings and workloads. Impress upon them the fact that you will be at your productive best when there is less pressure of deadlines to be met. But on the other hand, it would be great to remember that a deadline has its uses. Too much flexibility could mean putting off work and actually never getting it done on time. Always focus on getting the work done to the best of your abilities though, not so much the time you take to do it.
Try and finish small capsules of work by breaking it up into little time windows. Remember that even the best-behaved babies do not sleep on and on, or quietly play on with their toys to give you an extended period of peace. You may buy the best and most attractive toys for the baby but you will be lucky if that engages it for more than 15 minutes. While it is happily engaged and busy with something new, try and finish up some work.
Schedule your day and work as best as the situation allows. Even knowing that realistically you cannot expect the baby to stick to a schedule still allows for small windows. Plan out your work or project and try and cope best within the constraints.
Looking at the brighter side of working from home
Always look at the positives
Isn’t this always the best way to deal with any tough situation? When all else fails and you really find digging yourself deeper in a hole and brooding over it, remember to turn your thoughts to the positives. Because all said and done, the positives of working from home and being around your baby are many.
- You get to be near the baby at all times. This way you know that you are actually doing things the best way you would wish them done. The worry of whether the nanny or sitter is caring for it as well as you would want to, is ruled out.
- You earn while you be with them. Instead of resigning from work or going on extended leave sans pay post childbirth, you can actually earn during this period. That leaves you with more means to provide for your precious bundle of joy the way you would want.
- You need not travel to work. Commuting to work is not only time and energy consuming but also involves costs. Working from home can help save on precious resources of time and money.
- You redefine work flexibility. Working from home after baby often comes with workplaces being extra forgiving and flexible. In fact some are so adjusting that they actually take flexibility to new dimensions.
Related Questions
How not to pass on your frustration to the baby when working from home?
Remember to take a deep breath when you feel totally out of control with deadlines breathing down your neck, a wailing infant, nappies to be changed, feeds to be prepared etc. Prioritize tasks, remember you can always take a break if it all gets too much. We generally pass on our inability to cope onto the unsuspecting baby.
Should the new mom be selfish at times?
An essential part of your well being is to give yourself some slack. Find someone to take care of baby for a couple of hours and go catch a movie; or simply get a relaxing manicure or pedicure to soothe the frayed nerves. Whatever it is you do, take yourself away from the home scene for some time.
How to handle the stress with a baby when working from home?
A baby is a gift to be cherished. It is something you created. It needs every love and care that you can shower. No one ever said it would be easy. You must tackle it the best you can. Remember now that you are working, you are earning more to be able to provide the baby with so much more. Give yourself and the baby time to settle down.
The most essential point to note is that ‘this moment too shall pass’. This is all temporary. However tough and demanding it all seems right now, believe me when I say that babies grow up fast. Although each new stage of a baby brings in new challenges, you will surely find a way out like you did when you first began. And it will only get simpler as time goes on.
It all works out in the end.